I have made a catastrophic mistake. I mean a FUCKING MAJOR mistake.

None of this nampy pampy horse shit like ‘Oh no, I seem to have emailed the person I happened to be insulting’, or ‘Oh no, I seem to have forgotten to put on my trousers and now I’m outside!’

No.

Believe me, this is much, much worse.

You know that rule that everyone generally knows… you know the one…

‘Thou shall not fool around with best friend of the opposite sex therefore completely ruining the best friendship a man and a woman can have’?????

Well I take it that you understand my predicument now.

Of course I fucking broke it!

He started it though. Him and his ‘moves’. Jesus talk about lack of subtlety! I wanted to laugh and say ‘Is that all you got Mr Swave’?

But no I sat there like a fucking idiot and let it happen.

You know what the worst thing is about this whole situation? The fact that it happened doesn’t even bother me, its what resulted from the hook up thats most mortifying. I’m going to set the scene so you can see for yourself.

Picture it. There we are, drinking and laughing at the tv, crashed out on the couch. He starts off with the whole ‘arm over the back of the couch’ move. The arm moves down to my arm and starts rubbing. At this stage I’m thinking ‘fuck it’ and cuddle on in. Cuddle cuddle cuddle, kiss kiss kiss. *yawn*  A ‘You coming to bed?’ from him, a ‘yeah sure’ from me. Go to bed. Things heat up. Yada yada yada.

No knocking of uglies by the way! Just want to make that clear!

Anyway, he’s entirely off the mark, I direct him, he pulls away, I look questionly at him, he says ‘your so funny’ and lies down on top of me. THATS IT!

I mean, I felt like tipping him on the shoulder and saying ‘are you actually going to finish that?!’

Seriously, what the fuck is that?!?!

He then rolls over and goes to sleep and fucking IGNORES me! This guy is my best friend! I can’t explain to you the humiliation and sadness that went through me as I fucking lay there. I heard him starting to snore and I had to just leave. I felt like such a cheap whore walking out of there. I can’t believe he did that to me. I mean, this is a guy who I trust with everything and he just completely fobs me off!

Doing that walk of shame at 5.30 in the morning and I didn’t even have an orgasm before hand to make it worth my fucking while. Mortifying!

Now I’m sitting at home, unable to sleep because I’m thinking of the ramifications of this. My best male friend had his mitts on my lady bits and awkwardness reins. What do you say to someone after that?! Fair enough, a one night stand! You can fuck them out straight after and never see them again, but someone you’ve known the best part of 8 years?!

Screwed. I am totally fucking screwed.

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Wellity wellity wellity!

How are you all? I hope that I find you well! I’ve been quite alright if I must say! Apart from the stitching in my gums due to irritation from the stitches, everything has been quite pleasant!

My supervisor has offered me her job if she gets a job she applied for, that was nice. Don’t know if I’d take it though… probably. Meh, think about it when the time comes!

Anyway I went to see Jerry Fish and The Mudbug Club on Saturday evening! It was an amazing show, complete cabaret! It was a part circus, part mayhem! Brilliant show execution! There were people on stilts, a woman doing gymnastics on two bits of fabric from the ceiling. Jerry came in to the room from the back with his jazz section and did a full lap of the room before heading up to the stage! Brilliant! 😀

I managed to skive a set list from a roadie at the end of the night… no I’m not a stalker! My friend however is. And seeing as she paid for my ticket, I got it for her! 😀 Jerry was signing stuff and meeting fans after the gig so I got my ticket signed, along with a photo and she got the set list signed. She didn’t get a photo cause she had already met him earlier that day. As I said… stalker. (”,)

Ugh I’m actually boring myself writing this! Sorry! Hopefully I’ll have something more exciting to write about soon. Or find the enthusiasm to actually make an effort! hahaha

Bye! x

Enough is ENOUGH!

May 21, 2009






That is IT!!! I actually can’t physically keep up anymore! There are TOO MANY PHOTOS!!! I swear, every time I go on Robsessed there is at least 3 new posts with a FUCKING HORDE of new photos of Rob! Seriously I went weeks with nothing and now this?!?!

And I wouldn’t mind, they’re not even shit ones, I mean, these are ‘pick your jaw off the floor, your drool is ruining the electrics in the laptop’ pictures. I’m going to do damage to my already gammy jaw bone if this type of behaviour keeps up! Not to forget also my finding of this AMAZING gallery where quite literally EVERY photo ever taken of Rob in the past month is in there! My fingers are sore from right clicking and saving! My computer’s hard drive is groaning under the pressure of opening all these high resolution pictures! I’ve had to create a ‘sub’ folder in my Robert Pattinson picture folder labelled ‘Cannes’ for fuck sake!!!

Not that I’m complaining of course! Hahaha

Seriously though, if this type of media coverage is whats going to happen during the promotional tour for New Moon, I might as well hire some lackies now and build an office full of computers just so I can see everything! Although my Rob folder has now gotten so big, one can’t go for an occasional ‘browse’ any more. No. It’s a full on marathon! You can’t stop until you reach the end! And by then the fan on the laptop is about to fall out and my hands are sore from clicking the arrows so I can change the picture! Now I know a lot of you ‘hardcore-ians’ are shouting ‘SLIDESHOW! SLIDESHOW!’ However if I was to have a slideshow for this folder, cancel your plans for the evening because this will take longer than a dvd box set.

Wake Up Call

May 18, 2009

Good morning! Or afternoon, whatever.

The time is 13.24 and I have been up the grand total of a half hour. I have already demolished a Grazia magazine that told me of Brad and Jen’s ‘reunion’. Not much info really, just the usual ‘an insider said this, a close friend said that’. Rubbish really.

Anyway I turned on my computer, you know to… check up on things…. low and behold I am greeted with a WONDERFUL post on Robsessed that includes many many beautiful pictures of my man leaving Vancouver. He told me was leaving you know, but it is always nice to see the proof! We’re going to meet up in Cannes. Yep. Swear. To. God.

Anyway… I’m just going to include the highlights for me from this gift from the heavens!






Ahem. Yes. Well….

Shit, the most I’ll ever see of Rob in Cannes is the paparazzi pictures that are posted of him in the fucking airport!! hahahaha Can’t wait for those by the way! ROFL

Ah yes, how sad, I’ll be sitting here refreshing Robsessed every hour to see is there any update! (”,)

Thanks to Robsessed for the pics!

Erm…

May 15, 2009

Yeah I kind of had a sex dream about David Tennant last night.

Out of nowhere right?! Seriously I don’t know WHERE my mind does be!!!!

It was AMAZING though! hahahaha I kept thinking to myself ‘Go on Doctor Who!!’ hahaha. We were at Oxegen which was really weird. One of my best friends, well she was there. I feel so bad though because she ADORES him. It’s awful! Its like I’m having a dream affair with her man! ROFL So she’s gotten her own back and has hinted about her dream sex with Robert Pattinson…

We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. (”,)

Wanna know what I said in the dream after ‘the act’?

‘I just fucked Doctor Who!’

ROFL

I’m so sorry Anita!!!!

Just found this little jem here. Its from a website where people post what they overhear in this wonderful city of ours, Dublin.

“Seen a middle eastern looking guy banging a small carpet on the wall of a balcony on the second floor of a flat in ballymun when some local guy shouts up “whats wrong will it not start???” “

I nearly pee’d myself! 😀 Here’s another one:

On Dublin bus, at bus stop a little old lady gets on to enquire when her next bus will be arriving:

Old lady to driver: “Will the next bus be long?”

Smartass Driver: “About the same length as this one luv”

Old Lady(without a moments hesitiation): “Really? And will it be driven by a little bollicks like you?”

hahahahaha

Ok more….

I was in the chaning rooms of marks and spencers in Liffey Valley when a little girl just shouts from another cubicle, “mammy you’ve got loads of skid marks” The mother was obviously mortified because she just shouts back, “Stretch marks not skid marks!”. Needless to say there were a few sniggers coming from all around the changing room!

Wouldn’t you actually MURDER the child!!! Baaahahahahahahaha

Thank You!!

May 14, 2009

Oh I feel so loved! I’ve spent most of the afternoon uploading photos to my deviantart and I was screaming all the meanwhile!

They included the ones posted yesterday along with a few others and every time I reloaded the fucking page, there were messages in my inbox telling me of updates. People haven’t stopped favouring my stuff since I started! My views for my gallery have increased by a hundred today alone!! I can’t believe it!

I’m so happy!! 😀 I better get off my ass and buy a camera and do something, I’m being wasted people! hahaha

Here’s the gallery! http://forever-green.deviantart.com/gallery/